At some point we will all drop our iPhones and shatter the glass on the back. For some people it will be during the first week of ownership. Those people will be upset and feel that they’ve been ripped off by Apple. In a twist of irony, they’ll curse the ghost of Steve Jobs.

For other’s they won’t break their glass until the precise midpoint between when the current iPhone was released and when the new iPhone will be released. They will be literally paralyzed with indecision about whether they should wait for the next model or buy another of the previous model.

For a select few, they’ll drop their phone several times, often on very hard and rough surfaces, without incident. They’ll begin to feel invincible, they’ll start to remember how their bones felt when they were fifteen years old. Finally, one drop will prove to be too much and the glass back will break. Disillusioned by their newfound and very sobering sense of vulnerability, they will dig too deep into their own psyche and have an existential breakdown. The last coherent thought they will have is about how they wished they had not upgraded from the iPhone 3GS.