Insights and observations from a first visit to Las Vegas:

1. What is with the countless opportunities to ‘shoot a real machine gun’? I understand that Vegas is supposed to be the land of iniquity, but it just seemed sort of weird that shooting a machine gun was perhaps the main thing I saw advertised.

2. There were some extravagant things we did that I really enjoyed (hello neon dance club), but after paying multiple hundreds of dollars to travel a few thousand miles in a seat with just a little bit too little leg room for a man of my sticks, the the thing I loved the most was going to a shitty dive bar off the strip and buying cheap drinks and singing karaoke with my friends. You know, the same thing I do every other weekend at home.

3. Does an approximated sky help a mall become more pleasing to walk around in? Apparently yes. On some level, I felt like it was perpetually a pleasant dusk in the ‘Miracle Mile’ mall attached to our hotel.

4. Going for a run to shake a hangover was a very controversial move. People gave me a hard time (and I started to act all smug about it because everyone was giving me a hard time), and even my sister, upon picking me up from the airport after flying home told me this was a really weird thing for me to do. Was it weird? I sincerely find exercising to be the best way to shake a hangover.

5. I only ate sandwiches except for half a pizza at like 2 AM one night that I dropped on the ground on the way up the elevator.

6. My friends are much better than your friends.