You’ll never know my secret Valentine’s Day thoughts

So, most days at the end of the day I take 10 minutes and write about my day. It sounds quaint, in a teenager girl diary kind of way (ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S YOUR OLD PAL JOHN), but it’s more about trying to not let days or time just pass by. One of my New Year’s resolutions (I know, right?) was to spend more of my time meaningfully, and keeping track of what happened helps me do that. Reading back over these, some of them are complete garbage, but some are quite insightful and some might even be funny (probably not). I wrote a doozy on Valentine’s day about my five year lack of a relationship. It wasn’t even melancholy, it was just really what I was thinking about. The problem is, these things can be probably too frank. Sometimes I think about posting them here, but then sometimes I don’t because what if people really know the things I think? It would be weird. People always talk about oversharing on Facebook or Twitter or whatever it may be, but I don’t share anything I’m not comfortable sharing, and that I know, on some level, will make me look cool, or properly self-deprecating, or whatever I’m going for. I’m all for openness and truth and full-disclosure, but when it comes down to it, I’m probably scared of it. I guess I’m just realizing how much I subconsciously try to construct my image online, probably even moreso than in the physical world. REAL TALK